How to Test a Pet Name Before You Commit
By Scout -- PetNameHQ.com
A pet name is not a username. You can't change it in settings. You'll be using it hundreds of times a day for the next ten to fifteen years -- calling it across the park, announcing it to the vet, explaining it to strangers, and probably elongating it in elaborate ways when your pet has done something spectacular or something terrible.
It deserves more than a five-minute decision. Scout has developed a battery of practical tests that any name candidate should pass before it gets officially assigned. Run your shortlist through these before you commit.
The Seven Tests
Go outside -- or at least to a room away from other people -- and say the name loudly, as if the animal has just done something alarming or is ignoring you across a field. "WINSTON! WINSTON, COME HERE RIGHT NOW." How does that feel? Does it flow naturally when raised? Does it carry? Names with a strong vowel sound in the first syllable tend to travel -- and tend to get a better response from animals, who key in on that initial sound.
Fail condition: You feel embarrassed yelling it, or it loses its shape at volume.
What does this name naturally shorten to? Almost every pet ends up with at least one nickname, and the nickname is often what you'll actually use daily. "Bartholomew" becomes "Bart" or "Barty." "Penelope" becomes "Penny" or "Nell." "Fitzgerald" becomes "Fitzy." Make sure you like all the natural diminutives, because you'll be using them without thinking within about two weeks.
Fail condition: The natural nickname is one you dislike, or the name has no natural short form and feels unwieldy in daily use.
Imagine a receptionist calling this name across a crowded waiting room. "Mochi? Mochi is ready for the doctor." How does that land? Does it sound like a pet's name in that context, or does it create an awkward moment? This test is particularly useful for weeding out names that work perfectly at home but feel odd in a professional or public setting.
Fail condition: You'd feel compelled to explain or apologize for the name in that context.
Your pet will not always be the small, chaotic, adorable thing they are right now. They will grow up. They will slow down. They will develop dignity. Does this name still work when the animal is old? "Chaos" is a charming name for a puppy. It's a slightly melancholy name for a twelve-year-old dog who mostly sleeps. Think forward.
Fail condition: The name only works for the current version of the animal, not the one they'll grow into.
Practice explaining the name to someone who has never heard it. "Her name is Archipelago -- we call her Archie." "His name is Bismarck." "She's named after a character in a book." How does that explanation feel? Is it something you'll enjoy doing for years, or something that feels like homework every time? Names with a good story behind them tend to get better with this test. Names chosen for obscure reasons can become a social burden.
Fail condition: The explanation requires more than two sentences and you already feel tired of giving it.
Does the name sound like any common training commands? "Kit" sounds like "sit." "Bo" sounds like "no." "Shay" sounds like "stay." Animals learn their names and their commands as distinct sounds, and names that rhyme with commands can create genuine confusion, particularly in training. Run the name through the standard command list: sit, stay, come, no, down, leave it, drop it, heel.
Fail condition: Clear phonetic overlap with one or more common commands.
Write down your top three names. Sleep on them for two nights. On the third morning, which one do you reach for first? Which one do you find yourself already using when you talk to or about the pet? The name that has started to stick naturally -- the one you're already using without deciding to -- is almost always the right one. Your instincts are running a test of their own.
Pass condition: You've been using it without noticing. That's the name.
Scout's minimum standard: "A name needs to pass at least five of these seven tests. If it clears all seven, you've found it. Stop looking."
What to Do When Nothing Passes
If you're running names through this list and everything keeps failing, it's usually one of two things: either you're working from too small a pool of names, or you have an unconscious preference that hasn't surfaced yet. In the first case, generate more names -- that's what Scout is here for. In the second case, pay attention to what you keep almost liking. The name you want is usually right next to the name that almost works.